A few reasons... For one, I actually do work a few days out of the week then I have a few off - that's when I'm in here writing.
Second... I honestly was not sure for awhile after I got done writing the first chapter, if I really wanted to continue or not. I was a little depressed about it, actually - Stephenie COULD & SHOULD have written her pretty little saga this cool... But now, it really does seem like a waste of time, doesn't it?
So, I've kind of been waiting for some feedback on here to see if anyone has an opinion about it. But of course, everyone is quiet on here. I can SEE you're coming in, and I can SEE that you're poking through the pages on both of my blogs - BUT, you're all very very quiet.
However, I also have this posted up on FanFiction.net - and there have been a couple of encouraging reviews. It just didn't seem like this was something I wanted to take the time to do "just for myself" - but even if there are only two other people reading this, encouraging me, and rooting me on for now - that's enough for me. :)
The rest of us deserve a beautiful fairytale, too!
Third... I've literally been forced to take a creative writing sidestep. When I was fleshing out Bella in the first chapter; by the time I was done, I was ALOT more in love with her than I was before.
I already loved Bella, but characters kind of "get under your skin" when you start writing them - especially when you are creating them and/or fleshing them out, which is what I am doing. She became more real for me, I guess.
That's why I got a little depressed when I was finished with that first chapter - even though it turned out better than I expected. It seemed like Bella was never going to go "anywhere but here". All she'll EVER have is the stinky, trashy playground Stephenie originally created for her to play in.
I wanted to keep writing about her, but I was suddenly hesitant about wanting to or not.
While I was writing Bella in the first chapter, I had sort of meshed her with another long-time character I have had in the back of mind mind for AGES - in order to give her more substance. The Bella that we are all familiar with is sort of the "top shell" in my version; and her heart and the other character's heart are sort of mashed together inside of her.
I hope that remotely makes sense to you. Anyway, since I wasn't sure whether or not I was going to continue this story; I was compelled to come up another story concept - except I flipped things around. The "top" of the Bella-type character in my new story is my original character; BUT I meshed Bella's heart with hers - and it made *my* character seem a little more dynamic.
I ended up putting this new, Bella-type character into a storyline that was so fun and exciting to me; that I just HAD to write up a proposal for it and send it "out there". It would be the PERFECT Twilight competitor if this silly story continues after the movies (which, it probably will).
However, TV & movies are now plastered with Vampire stories - I'm really not expecting anyone to even look at it beyond the tag line; even though there is only ONE (female) Vampire in it. It isn't necessarily a Vampire story, just a long-standing love story about a fish-out-of-water couple and a silly sidekick. It would have to be rated PG-13 just because the sidekick is so damn cute, ha!
In any case, I'm telling you about that in order to tell you more about my developing view of the character of Bella - because she keeps bringing me back in here. She HAS a story that she WANTS to tell!
After I was done with the creative writing spurt that I mentioned above, it was like I was done with that again for awhile; and now she's back in my head as strong as ever. She doesn't want me to stop - so maybe I'm doing this as much for a silly little imaginary girl as much as I am for us so-called-real Humans, ha!. :)
About Bella... Those of you who have done any reading surrounding "how Twilight was written" (my Aunt Bertha has teased me about being able to do a thesis on the subject, ha!) know that Stephenie Meyer had certain songs and/or bands that she liked to listen to as inspiration for her pretty saga while she was writing it.
I can't write with a bunch of noise going on in the background - I'm into my character's voices too much. It's as if I am in an intense conversation with them. I like it quiet. Everyone has their own way of doing things...
One of the ways music DOES inspire storylines for me is when I'm NOT writing - I'm just out and about "doing my thing", and I'll hear a song on the radio or over a store speaker that will remind me of something - it will inspire a character to be a certain way or a story to go a certain way, etc. I will listen to that song over and over again until my characters start to mesh with it. Music can be a powerful inspiration!
So, in THAT respect; I do also use music almost without really realizing it or intending to.
BEFORE I was aware of Bella's dysfunctional storyline and I was still assuming that the author had somehow actually wrote an appropriate, "believable", beautiful Vampire fairytale for young adults; this story would often swirl around in my head...
I didn't know the end, and I wasn't curious enough about it yet to look it up. *I* was a Vampire genre fanatic, and I was ENJOYING trying to figure out all the different directions this story could possibly go into. The first two movies were fascinating to me (and I saw them within days of each other), but by the third movie I was starting to become debunked - and then I found out about the unbelievable baby and disappointing storyline, in general - and that was the end of that.
BUT, DURING THIS TIME... I was having alot of fun with Bella and Edward (Jacob was only barely in the picture). And there were a few songs that I would hear that really really reminded me of her and/or her situation.
Bent (Matchbox 20): A Bella & Edward song for sure. Here's an acoustic version.
I'm With You (Avril Lavigne): A slice on one of the romantic angles we women love...
Killing Me Softly (Lauryn Hill & Fugees): I doubt I need to intro why THIS song is in here. :)
These Dreams (Heart): The eternally-elusive question all of us girls struggle with... How do you find Prince Charming - and more importantly - how do you find your place in this wide world? ;)
Heaven Can Wait (Meatloaf): Bella's attitude toward Edward turning her. It's really pretty.
Put Your Lights On (Santana w/ Everlast): This song always makes me think of Edward. You can expect *my* version of Edward to be a little darker than Stephenie's.
Dark Night of the Soul (Loreena McKennit): This song would work in a couple of different places, but I've always seen this song as their first Honeymoon night song. I haven't seen Breaking Dawn yet, and I'm sure they've picked some good stuff. But this song would have been PERFECT!
So, YEAH... In case you haven't noticed, I'm thinking about Bella & Edward BOTH alot right now, Ha! ;)
Update 5/10/12 - I still haven't started on chapter 2, yet. I have the entire last book done in my brain, to the extent that the ending scenes keep playing themselves over and over again in my mind. But, I really really do not want to skip ahead and write them. Honestly, I don't feel I know enough about Bella & Edward's love story to do that, yet - and YET, they keep talking to me from THAT point, ha!
Writing takes alot of patience and it can be a very tedious thing - because you have to listen to both yourself AND your characters while staying true to your storyline. There is obviously stuff in those ending scenes that I at least need to know about before I continue writing this second chapter - even if nothing applies, yet.
I'm pretty sure when I finally start writing this chapter, it will go pretty fast though - ha!
Update 5/11/12 - I'm still working on my Twilight rewrite, and I've managed to bring myself around to the tribe and Jacob - and I've just come across YET another infuriating thing! (Yeah, I was doing a really silly thing called RESEARCH!)
This site is called, Truth vs. Twilight: Adjusting the Focus on Twilight's Misconceptions - a collaboration between the Burke Museum and the Quileute Tribe. THIS is a sad site, really - to have to defend your "REAL" cultural heritage because it has been so bastardized by some sex-starved, amateur author! Read through this site - it's short & concise enough for anyone to understand it; and the points they bring up are MADDENING!
Honestly - for the LIFE of me - I am completely in the dark as to how you people could have excused this story, much less embraced it like you have. I KNOW there are Twihards out there who are on Team Jacob. Have you ever noticed that most of those people have read the books? You seldom hear a Twilight movie fan say they are into Jake - it's almost ALWAYS Edward.
You Team Jacob fans... DON'T you care about HIM? Don't you care that Stephenie wrapped things around him that she completely made up? She didn't even care enough about him to get his unique, beautiful culture right!
Like blood is for a Vampire... So this special place and culture is for Jacob and his family! This is NOT how you write a novel OR a saga!
So Ok, maybe it's one thing to bastardize the make-believe lore of Vampires; but shouldn't it be ENTIRELY ANOTHER if we're talking about a REAL Human Culture? Maybe you've never grown up around a reservation. Maybe you've never had an American-Indian classmate or playmate as a child - well, TOO BAD for you!
WHO the HELL do you people think you are?! JEEZ - DO the right thing and SIGN my petition! Hold these obviously negligent companies responsible for this! We only need 50 measly signatures to have it sent to these companies. And that's all I'm really looking for - some sort of SPLASH out here that they can see!
SURELY there are 50ish people out there who are willing to do the right thing?!
Now I don't know what to do about Jacob in my rewrite... His story and The Tribe's story in here is looking like it needs more than a little correcting, too!
With EVERY ONE of these stupid discoveries, I become more and more pissed about all this!
The World HAS to have more integrity than this - it just HAS TO!
I am actually having a really hard time believing that no one has sued her and/or these companies over ALL THIS GLARING STUFF before this! It SHOULD BE criminal what Stephenie Meyer has done with this sexual saga!
I KNOW our standards are low, especially here in the United States - ie., The Kardashians, all the LAME sensationalized reality shows that they keep shoving down our throats because the money-making marketing machines of Hollywood keep insisting that's what we want!
But, this is RIDICULOUS!
This amateur author and all the other JERKS who created this "Twilight Franchise" should be ashamed of themselves and frankly, they DESERVE to be IN JAIL!
Update 5/13/12 - Ok, you can see that I flipped out on the last update. It's funny - there is a part of me that actually feels like SOMEONE should do some jail time, ha! I really really have no idea who exactly; but it really seems like someone should...
I've also adjusted my thinking on the petition, too. I would love for the Quileute Tribe to get a slice of the Petition money - that is, if the world manages to come around sometime within the next few months. It won't matter after Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out. We all have a very limited window of time to influence what happens next with this story.
WWBD - What Would Bella Do?! Would she care more about her life, her family and the people she loves - or would she care more about her pathetic, smug creator? Honestly, *I* think she'd sign the petition. She'd want her original story with her ORIGINAL real-make-believe dreamboat Vampire AND JACOB that she was SUPPOSED to have!
I had always known that Stephenie had twisted the tribes "real" culture - I'd read about that previously, of course. BUT, I REALLY THOUGHT that she had probably taken some sort of obscure little folktale and just twisted it a little to fit into her story.
But she didn't just desecrate one of their "obscure fables". It was their "Creation Oral History" - that's what they are called. Very MUCH akin to "modern civilization's" Judo/Christian creation myth EXCEPT MUCH OLDER and NO LESS IMPORTANT to this World AND ESPECIALLY to these indigenous peoples!
AND they have not received ONE RED CENT from this franchise for ANYTHING. (I'm sure The Twilight Franchise "legally" doesn't have to share.) In my opinion, Stephenie Meyer and the people who created this STUPID franchise should have to answer to SOMEONE. WHO else is going to make them tow this line but us mere Humans with just a brain and a VOICE?
In any case, I've thought about it and I'm not going to finish writing the "ReVAMPED" version of this silly saga - much less finish reading it! There are TOO MANY things wrong with it - and frankly, this story is NOT WORTHY of being rewritten. It is too stupid for too many lame, irresponsible reasons!
HOWEVER... I would still REALLY like to prove to you all that this story COULD have been written RESPONSIBLY with all the gory Vampire aspects intact WITHOUT fogging it up with magic!
I'm going to write out a rough summary of what would have come eventually in this rewrite - you can expect that, next. In fact, HERE IT IS. I think it's important for you to see this.
Those of you who care, anyway... I know you're out there. You just HAVE to be, ha!